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Jokes for the week of 11/27/2001
The Truth about Business, Poltics, Money, Engineers, Therapy
Business Model
Any new venture goes through the following stages: enthusiasm, complication, disillusionment, search for the guilty, punishment of the innocent and decoration of those who did nothing." - Unknown
Politicians
A Congressman is awakened in the middle of the night by his wife who whispers, "I think there's a thief in the house."
"Not in the House, my dear." her husband answers, half asleep. "Perhaps in the Senate, but certainly not in the House."
Inheritance
"Misers aren't fun to live with, but they make wonderful ancestors." -David Brenner
Engineers
At a recent computer software engineering course, the participants were given an awkward question to answer:
"If you had just boarded an airliner and discovered that your team of programmers had been responsible for the flight control software, how many of you would disembark immediately?"
Among the ensuing forest of raised hands only one man sat motionless. When asked what he would do, he replied that he would be quite content to stay aboard. With his team's software, he said, the plane was unlikely to even taxi as far as the runway, let alone take off.
You asked for it
A woman's husband asked her what she wanted for her birthday. She thought for a moment and said, "This year I just want cold, hard cash for a change."
The following day her husband filled her request. He put $20 in nickels, dimes and quarters into a quart jar, then filled it with water and placed it in the freezer. On her birthday he handed his wife a solidly frozen bottle of change.
Therapy?
A man has his first appointment with a psychiatrist and when asked why he's there, the fellow responds, "Doctor, I always feel excluded. I'm tired of being on the outside looking in."
"Well..." responded the doctor, "sounds like we have to try to improve your self-image. Let's get a few basic facts first.What do you do for a living?"
"I'm a window washer."
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