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Jokes for the week of 2/28/2005
Police Stories
Salesman turned Policeman
A salesman, tired of his job, gave it up to become a policeman. Several months later,
a friend asked him how he liked his new role. "Well," he replied, "the pay is good
and the hours aren't bad, but what I like best is that the customer is always wrong."
Man Who Barked at Police Dog Now Must Answer in Court
PORTLAND, Maine (AP) - A man who barked at a police dog inside a
parked patrol car was detained and ordered to appear in court on a
charge of taunting the German shepherd.
Johnny Mathis, 20, said he didn't mean to cause trouble when the
dog, Zedo, began barking on Saturday and he barked back.
"I had finished barking. I had stopped barking, and the police
still arrested me," Mathis said.
Police said Mathis and a friend started the incident by teasing Zedo
with their barking. After a policeman warned them that teasing the
dog was illegal, Mathis continued barking, police Sgt. Steve Plympton
said.
raining Aids
HUNTINGTON BEACH (CNS) - Three Huntington Beach police academy
instructors lost their jobs after ordering cadets to eat cigarette
sandwiches as punishment for smoking, it was reported today.
The cadets vomited. One collapsed and was taken unconscious to a
hospital.
Academy Director Hugh Foster said the training advisers are no
longer employed at the Criminal Justice Training Center at Golden
West College.
Foster said the two cadets admitted to being smokers Friday during
an early morning inspection, then were ordered to eat the cigarette
sandwich.
Foster said the two recruits were ordered to place their cigarettes
between two pieces of bread and to take two bites each.
After that, they were both ordered to do about 250 pushups and 50
pull-ups.
Smuggler of the Year
MEXICO CITY (Reuter) - An officer voted "Policeman of the Year" in a
northern Mexican state has been arrested on suspicion of drug
trafficking after being detained with 436 pounds of marijuana, the
Televisa television network reported.
It said Jose Armando Cruz Gutierrez was voted policeman of the year
just two months ago by colleagues in the Chihuahua state detective
force who gave him a new car as a prize.
The attorney-general's office confirmed Cruz's arrest, adding in a
statement that three other policemen were detained with him
including Chihuahua state detective police commander Gerardo
Maximiliano Coronel and his wife.
On the Case
All the toilet seats at the police station were stolen. The thief is still
at large, the police are having a time figuring it out, and they have
nothing to go on.
A van-load of wigs were stolen yesterday
Police are combing the area for clues
Police Car Plays Taxi, Gives Lift to Jail
[From the 2/28 San Francisco Chronicle]
A San Mateo man has found out the hard way the difference between a
taxi and a police car.
San Mateo County sheriff's deputies reported yesterday that Leslie
Paul Durnell, 30, was drunk when he climbed into an unmarked
sheriff's car at 1:50 a.m. Saturday on the 100 block of Harbor
Boulevard and asked to be taken to an address.
When ordered out, he became verbally abusive and struck an officer
who tried to arrest him, they said.
"What the f*** kind of taxi are you," he was quoted as saying in a
police report.
He was booked on suspicion of assault and battery on a peace officer
-- after receiving a free ride to jail.
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