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Jokes for the week of 3/7/2003
Martha Stewart vs. the Real Women
sent in by Cousin Gene
MARTHA STEWART
If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will
absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up.
REAL WOMEN
If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too damn bad. Please recite with me, The
Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."
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MARTHA STEWART
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on
your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
REAL WOMEN
Take a lime, mix it with tequila, etc., chill and drink. You might still have the headache, but who
cares?
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MARTHA STEWART
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to
prevent ice cream drips.
REAL WOMEN
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake. You are probably lying
on the couch, with your feet up, eating it anyway.
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MARTHA STEWART
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
REAL WOMEN
Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for
up to a year.
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MARTHA STEWART
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and
there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
REAL WOMEN
Go to the bakery. They'll even decorate it for you.
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MARTHA STEWART
Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
REAL WOMEN
The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg
whites over the crust, so I just don't do it.
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MARTHA STEWART
If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing
gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
REAL WOMEN
Go ask the very cute neighbor to do it.
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And finally the most important tip -
MARTHA STEWART
Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and
sauces.
REAL WOMEN
Leftover wine??
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