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Jokes for the week of 10/30/2003
Halloween Riddles Part 1: Ghosts, Monsters and Skeltons
Ghost Riddles
What kind of
music does
ghosts like?
Ans: Rhythm and boos! she grows up?
Ans: A boo-tiful dancer.
Why did the ghost
take his family on
a elevator ride
every day?
Ans: To raise their spirits.
What color did the
ghost turn after it
drank orange
juice?
Ans: Orange.
Who did the ghost
invite to his party?
Ans: Anyone he could dig up!
Who did the ghost
go with to the
Halloween party?
Ans: With No-Body!
What do ghosts
do when they want
to start up a
computer?
Ans: They boo-t it up!
What's a ghost's
favorite thing to
roast?
Ans: Boomallows.
What did the
ghost say when he
took the stage?
Ans: Hello, boos and ghouls!
Why did the ghost
run away?
Ans: Because someone said BOO!
How did the ghost
do at the comedy
club?
Ans: He was a dead-knockout.
What is the little
ghost's favorite
party game?
Ans: Musical Graves.
How do ghosts
greet you?
Ans: HALLO-WEEN !!
What is a ghost's
favorite desert?
Ans: Iced Screams!
What is the little
ghost's favorite
pre-school
activity?
Ans: Scream and Tell!
What kind roads
do ghosts haunt?
Ans: DEAD ENDS! (where you'll end up when I get you! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!!!!!!!!!!!)
Where does a girl
ghost go to get
her hair done?
Ans: To the BOOty Parlor.
What do you call a
website for
ghosts?
Ans: Bahoo or Yaboo!
How do baby
ghost cry?
Ans: Boo-hoo. Boo-hoo.
What kind of
shampoo does a
ghost have?
Ans: Shamboo!!!
What is Casper's
favorite sticky
treat?
Ans: Boo-ble gum.
Where do baby
ghosts come
from?
Ans: Boo Genes.
What vehicle does
a kid ghost like to
ride?
Ans: A boocycle.
Why did the ghost
go to the doctor?
Ans: To get a Booster shot.
What game do
ghost like to play?
Ans: Peek-a-Boo.
What is the
difference between
ghosts and
patched jeans?
Ans: Ghosts are dead men. Patched jeans are men-ded!
What do you call a
ghost running
through the jungle
with a machine
gun?
Ans: Ramboo.
What is a ghost's
favorite ride?
Ans: A rooler ghoster.
What would you
get if you crossed
a cocker spaniel,a
French poodle,
and a ghost?
Ans: A cocker-poodle-boo!
What do ghost
cheerleaders say?
Ans: Rah!Rah!Rah!Sis-boo-bah!
Who protects the
shores where
spirits live?
Ans: The Ghost Guard!
What do ghosts
eat for dinner?
Ans: Spookgetti.
What does a
mummy ghost say
to its baby?
Ans: Booware of strangers!
What is a ghost's
favorite dance?
Ans: Boo-skoot boo-gie.
What does a ghost
swim in?
Ans: The DEAD sea!
What does a sign
say in front of a
ghost restroom?
Ans: Boils and Ghouls!
What does a ghost
use to forecast the
weather?
Ans: A boomometer.
What kind of pets
do ghosts have?
Ans: Scaredy Cats!
Why are ghosts
like newspaper?
Ans: Because they appear in sheets.
What is a ghost's
favorite holiday?
Ans: April Ghoule's Day
What did the boy
ghost say to the
girl ghost?
Ans: You look bootiful tonight.
What does a ghost
put on his cereal
in the morning?
Ans: Boonanas and Booberries.
What does a ghost
keep in its stable?
Ans: Night Mares.
What do baby
ghosts wear on
their feet?
Ans: Boo-ties!
What do children
ghosts have for
lunch?
Ans: A boo-loney sandwich.
What do young
ghosts called their
moms and dads?
Ans: Transparent.
What kind of
street does a
ghost likes to live?
Ans: A dead end.
Where do nice
ghosts and
goblins get there
food?
Ans: At a gross-ery store.
At ghost school
what does a
teacher say when
a student has the
correct answer?
Ans: You're fright.
What did the papa
ghost say his
ghostly children?
Ans: Fasten your sheet belt.
What is a ghost's
favorite direction?
Ans: Horror-zontal.
Why did the police
officer arrest the
ghost?
Ans: Because he didn't have a
haunting licence.
What kind of cars
do ghosts drive?
Ans: Boo--icks.
What did the
Goober the Ghost
say to his girl
friend?
Ans: "My, you're looking boootiful
tonight!"
What is a ghost's
favorite oatmeal?
Ans: SCREAM of Wheat!!!
Where do little
ghosts learn to yell
"BOO!"?
Ans: In noisery school.
Where did the
spook buy his
stamps?
Ans: At the ghost office.
Why couldn't the
ghost ride the
bus?
Ans: Because he didn't have exact
chains.
Why did the ghost
rush home from
school?
Ans: To watch an afterghoul special
on TV.
What is a ghost's
favorite party
game?
Ans: Hide-and-go-shriek.
What does the
ghost say when
someone punches
him?
Ans: Would you like your arm back?
What did one
ghost say to a
other ghost?
Ans: BOO to you too.
"Knock, knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Boo"
"Boo Who?"
Ans: "Don't cry!"
What did one
ghost say to the
other when they
fell down?
Ans: I got a
booooooooooooboooooooooo.
What did one
ghost say to
another?
Ans: Do you believe in people?
What did the
ghost say when
the truck hit him?
Ans: Get out of the way.
What is a ghost's
favorite pie?
Ans: Booberry pie (blueberry pie).
What is a ghost's
favorite candy?
Ans: BOO-ble gum
What is the the
name of the
magazine that
adult ghosts read?
Ans: PlayBoo
What is a ghost
favorite article of
clothing?
Ans: Boojeans.
What color is a
ghost?
Ans: Boo (blue).
Monster Riddles
What did the mummy say when he solved the case of the missing cat?
Ans: That about wraps it up.
What did the Zombie say to Frankenstein?
Ans: I've been die-ing to meet you!
What do you do with a green monster?
Ans: Wait until it ripens.
How did the ghoul scald his face?
Ans: Bobbing for french flies!
What do you call a dentist who ofters to clean a werewolf's teeth?
Ans: CRAZY!!!!!
What type of monster really loves dance music?
Ans: The boogieman!
What kind of monster can surf?
Ans: The bogie board.
What do you get when a mummy joins a band?
Ans: Wrap music.
What did the boy Frankenstien and the girl Frankenstien do when they met?
Ans: It was love at first fright.
Why does Frankenstein have screw in his head?
Ans: To keep his head on straight!
Why do monsters go to McDonalds?
Ans: Because they like the Filet-O-Witch sandwitch and French Flies!!!!
What are your three choices if a monster comes after you and all you have on
hand is a toothbrush and toothpatse tube?
Ans: 1.Run 2.Run 3.Run
Mummy, why do all the other Kids call me a Werewolf?
Ans: Now stop talking and brush your face!
What did the grandfather monster say to his grandson monster when they hadn't seen each other for
quite awhile?
Ans: You gruesome.
Who belongs to the monsters' PTA?
Ans: Mummies and Deadies.
What's a ghoul's favorite drink?
Ans: Ghoul-aid.
What happened when the boy monster and the ghoul tried to kiss in the fog?
Ans: They MIST!
What is a monster's favorite food?
Ans: Ghoul scout cookies.
What is the biggest monster that lives in the ocean?
Ans: Boo Whale!
What do goblins mail home while on vacation?
Ans: Ghostcards.
What's a zombie's favorite breakfast cereal?
Ans: Rice Creepies.
Where do nice ghosts and goblins get there food?
Ans: At a gross-ery store.
What did Dr. Frankenstein get when he put his goldfish's brain in
the body of his dog?
I don't know, but it is great at chasing submarines.
Ans:
Why was the Zorkie the Zombie so grumpy?
Ans: He woke up too early in the mourning.
What does a mummy say?
Ans: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!
What position does a monster play on the
soccer team?
Ans: Ghoulie.
What do you get when you cross a were-wolf with a drip-dry suit?
Ans: A wash-and-werewolf.
What kind of hot dogs do monsters like best?
Ans: Hallowieners.
There were 3 monsters under an umbrella there was a hole in it. Which monster
got wet?
Ans: No one it wasn't even
raining!
Who are some of the werewolves cousins?
Ans: The whatwolves and the whenwolves.
What is the name of the book listing monsters who are socially prominent?
Ans: The Boo Book or the Boo's Boo.
What would you do if a witch, an alien, Count Dracula
and Frankenstein were at your door?
Ans: Hope it was Halloween.
What would you do if a witch, an alien, Count Dracula
and Frankenstein were at your door and it wasn't Halloween?
Ans: Scream!!!
Can you escape from a monster by using a flash light?
Ans: Yes, if you runfast enough.
What does a baby monster called his father and mother?
Ans: Dead and Mummy.
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a mummy?
Ans: A flying band-aid.
What does a hundred pound mouse say to a witch's black
cat?
Ans: "Here, kitty,kitty."
How does a two-headed monster greets his friends?
Ans: Hello, hello. Howare you? How are you?
Where does a thousand pound monster goes at night?
Ans: Anywhere it wants.
Where do monsters mail their letters?
Ans: At the ghost office.
Skelton Riddles
Why doesn't a skeleton play music in a church?
Ans: Because it has no organs!
What does a skeleton orders at a restaurant?
Ans: Spare ribs!!!
What did the skelton say when his brother told a lie?
Ans: You can't fool me, I can see right through you.
Why didn't the skeleton eat the cafeteria food?
Ans: Because he didn't have the stomach for it!
What did the skeleton order at the restaurant?
Ans: A glass of coke and a mop.
Why did the skeleton cross the road?
Ans: The chicken was on vacation.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?
Ans: Because he had "no
body" to go with!
Why did the skelton laugh so hard?
Ans: Because he has funny bones!
What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley?
Ans: I'm bone to be wild!
Why wouldn't the skeleton cross the road?
Ans: He didn't have the guts.
What is a skeletons favorite instrument?
Ans: A Trom-Bone
Vampire Riddles
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