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Jokes for the week of 9/20/2004
Halloween Beethoven, Rocky, The IRS and One Liners
Beethoven Symphonies
A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of
a sudden he hears some music. No one is around, so he starts
searching for the source.
He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a
grave with a headstone that reads: Ludwig van Beethoven,
1770-1827. Then he realizes that the music is the Ninth
Symphony and it is being played backward! Puzzled, he leaves
the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with him.
By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has
changed. This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the
previous piece, it is being played backward.
Curious, the men agree to consult a music scholar. When they
return with the expert, the Fifth Symphony is playing, again
backward. The expert notices that the symphonies are being
played in the reverse order in which they were composed, the
9th, then the 7th, then the 5th.
By the next day the word has spread and a throng has
gathered around the grave. They are all listening to the
Second Symphony being played backward.
Just then the graveyard's caretaker ambles up to the group.
Someone in the crowd asks him if he has an explanation for
the music.
"Oh, it's nothing to worry about" says the caretaker. "He's
just decomposing!"
Halloween Costume - Rocky
One Halloween a trick-or-treater came to my door dressed as
'Rocky' in boxing gloves and satin shorts. Soon after I gave
him some goodies, he returned for more.
"Aren't you the same 'Rocky' who left my doorstep a few
minutes ago?" I asked.
"Yes," he replied, "but now I'm the sequel. I'll be back
three more times tonight too."
Halloween Costume - IRS Agent
The door bell, rings, and a man answers it. Here stands this
plain but well dressed kid, saying, "Trick or Treat!"
The man asks the kids what he's dressed up like for
Halloween. The kid says, "I'm an IRS agent." Then he takes
28% of the man's candy, leaves, and doesn't say Thank You.
One liner's
Q: What's a goblin's favorite flavor?
A: Lemon n' Slime.
Q: Why wasn't the vampire working?
A: He was on his coffin break.
Q: How do ghosts fly from one place to another?
A: By scareplane.
Q: How do you picture yourself flying on a broom?
A: By witchful thinking.
Q: What's a ghoul's favorite breakfast cereal?
A: Rice Creepies.
Q: Why did the witch's mail rattle?
A: It was a chain letter.
Q: Why did the vampire's lunch give her heartburn?
A: It was a stake sandwich.
Q: What instrument does a skeleton play?
A: A trombone.
Q: Why was the zombie so grumpy?
A: She woke up too early in the mourning.
Q: What directions did the ghost give the goblin?
A: "Make a fright turn at the corner."
Q: What do birds give out on Halloween?
A: Tweets.
Q: What's a vampire's favorite feast?
A: Fangsgiving Day dinner.
Q: What do little trees say on Halloween?
A: Twig or treat.
Q: What do goblins mail home while on vacation?
A: Ghostcards.
Q: Why did the vampire need mouthwash?
A: She had bat breath.
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Beethoven
Rain Rain, Go Away
THIMBLE WICKED WITCH
WICKED WITCH
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