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Jokes for the week of 6/28/2002
Dumb State Laws Utah to Wisconsin
Dumb Utah Laws
It is against the law to fish from horseback.
When a person reaches the age of 50, he/she can then marry their cousin.
It is illegal not to drink milk.
It is illegal to detonate any nuclear weapon. You can have them, but you
just can't detonate them.
Birds have the right of way on all highways.
A husband is responsible for every criminal act committed by his wife
while she is in his presence.
You're not allowed to sell beverages containing more than 3.2% alcohol.
It's legal for restaurants to serve wine with meals, but only if you ask for
the wine list.
It is considered an offense to hunt whales.
Kaysville
You must have identification to enter a convienence store after dark.
Logan
Women may not swear.
Monroe
Daylight must be visible between partners on a dance floor.
Provo
Throwing snowballs will result in a $50 fine.
Salt Lake City
No one may walk down the street carrying a paper bag containing a
violin.
Trout Creek
Pharmacists may not sell gunpowder to cure headaches.
Dumb Vermont Laws
Whistling underwater is illegal
At one time it was illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole.
Women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false
teeth.
Barre
All residents shall bathe every Saturday night.
Dumb Virginia Laws
It is illegal to sell peanut brittle on Sundays. (Repealed)
You cannot sell lettuce on Sunday, but you can sell beer, wine etc.
(Repealed)
There is a state law prohibiting "corrupt practices of bribery by any
person other than candidates."
You may not work on Sunday. (Repealed)
It is illegal to spit on sidewalk.
Driving while not wearing shoes is prohibited. (Repealed)
Police radar detectors are illegal.
Citizens must honk their horn while passing other cars.
Children are not to go trick-or-treating on Halloween.
It is illegal to tickle women.
You cannot buy hardware of any kind on Sunday. (Passed in 1975,
repealed in 1977)
Culpeper
No one may wash a mule on the sidewalk.
Dayton
A person of color may not be oustide or within the city limits after 7 pm.
Lebanon
It is illegal to kick your wife out of bed.
Norfolk
Spitting on a sea gull is not tolerated.
A man may face 60 days in jail for patting a woman's derriere.
Women must wear a corsette after sundown and be in the company of
male chaperone.
Richmond
It is illegal to flip a coin in a restaurant to see who pays for a coffee.
Stafford County
It is legal for a man to beat his wife on the courthouse steps so long as it
is before 8:00 pm.
Victoria
It is illegal to skate down the sidewalk of Main Street.
Virginia Beach
If you are drunk and not driving your car, and the person who is driving
the car is drunk as well, you may both receive DUI's.
It is illegal for a person to ride on the handlebars of a bike.
It is illegal to use profanity on Atlantic Avenue or the boardwalk.
It is also unlawful to drive by the same place within 30 minutes on
Atlantic Avenue.
Waynesboro
It is illegal for a woman to drive a car up Main Street unless her husband
is walking in front of the car waving a red flag.
Dumb Washington Laws
All lollipops are banned.
A law to reduce crime states: "It is mandatory for a motorist with criminal
intentions to stop at the city limits and telephone the chief of police as he is
entering the town."
It is illegal to paint polka dots on the American flag.
People may not buy a mattress on Sunday.
All motor vehicles must be preceded by a man carrying a red flag
(daytime) or a red lantern (nighttime) fifty feet in front of said vehicle.
It is illegal to pretend that one's parents are rich.
You are not allowed to breast feed in public.
When two trains come to a crossing, neither shall go until the other has
passed.
You are breaking the law if you sell or place in the stream of commerce a
crib that has: corner posts that extend more than 1/16-inch above end
panels; slats more than 2 3/8 inches apart; a mattress support that releases
easily from corner posts; cutout designs on the end panels; tears in mesh or
fabric; missing or loose screws, bolts, or hardware; sharp edges, points, or
rough surfaces on wood surfaces that are not smooth and free from
splinters, splits or cracks. The new Infant Crib Safety Act in California
(AB 3760, Speier), Colorado (SB 98-023,Pascoe and Morrison) and
Washington State (SSB 6229, Kohl and Pennington) states that "no
commercial user shall manufacture, retrofit, sell, contract to sell or resell,
lease, sublet or otherwise place in the stream of commerce, a full-size or
non-full-size crib that is unsafe for any infant using the crib.
You cannot buy meat of any kind on Sunday.
Auburn
Men who deflower virgins, regardless of age or marital status, may face
up to five years in jail.
Bremerton
You may not chuck peanuts on the street.
Everett
It is illegal to display a hypnotized or allegedly hypnotized person in a
store window.
Lynden
Dancing and drinking may not occur at the same establishment.
Seattle
You may not carry a concealed weapon that is over six feet in length.
Women who sit on men's laps on buses or trains without placing a pillow
between them face an automatic six-month jail term.
No one may set fire to another person's property without prior
permission.
It is illegal to carry a fishbowl or aquarium onto a bus because the sound
of the water sloshing may disturb other passengers.
Spokane
TV's may not be bought on Sundays.
Waldron Island
No structure shall contain more than two toilets that use potable water
for flushing. -San Juan County Ordinance NO. 7 -1995 (Passed June
7,1995)
Wilbur
You may not ride an ugly horse
Dumb Wyoming Laws
It is illegal to wear a hat that obstructs people's view in a public theater or
place of amusement.
It is illegal for women to stand within five feet of a bar while drinking.
You may not take a picture of a rabbit during the month of June.
Cheyenne
Citizens may not take showers on Wednesdays.
Dumb West Virginia Laws
No children may attend school with their breath smelling of "wild onions."
When a railroad passes within 1 mile of a community of 100 or more
people in it, they must build a station and stop there regularly to pick up
and drop off passengers.
It is illegal to snooze on a train.
Doctors and dentists may not place a woman under anesthesia unless a
third person is present.
According to the state constitution, it is unlawful for anyone to own a red
or a black flag.
If you wear a hat inside a theater, you may be fined.
Roadkill may be taken home for supper.
Whistling underwater is prohibited.
Alderson
One may not walk a lion, tiger or leopard, even on a leash.
Nicholas County
No member of the clergy is allowed to tell jokes or humorous stories
from the pulpit during a church service.
Huntington
Firemen may not whistle or flirt at any woman passing a firehouse.
It is legal to beat your wife so long as it is done in public on Sunday, on
the courthouse steps.
Dumb West Virginia Laws
No children may attend school with their breath smelling of "wild onions."
When a railroad passes within 1 mile of a community of 100 or more
people in it, they must build a station and stop there regularly to pick up
and drop off passengers.
It is illegal to snooze on a train.
Doctors and dentists may not place a woman under anesthesia unless a
third person is present.
According to the state constitution, it is unlawful for anyone to own a red
or a black flag.
If you wear a hat inside a theater, you may be fined.
Roadkill may be taken home for supper.
Whistling underwater is prohibited.
Alderson
One may not walk a lion, tiger or leopard, even on a leash.
Nicholas County
No member of the clergy is allowed to tell jokes or humorous stories
from the pulpit during a church service.
Huntington
Firemen may not whistle or flirt at any woman passing a firehouse.
It is legal to beat your wife so long as it is done in public on Sunday, on
the courthouse steps.
Dumb Wisconsin Laws
You must manually flush all urinals in a building.
Butter substitutes are not allowed to be served in state prisons.
Citizens may not murder their enemies.
Whenever two trains meet at an intersection of said tracks, neither shall
proceed until the other has.
As people used to smuggle it in from Illinois, all yellow butter substitute is
banned.
At one time, margarine was illegal.
State Law made it illegal to serve apple pie in public restaurants without
cheese.
While all cheese making requires a license, Limburger cheese making
requires a master cheese maker's license.
It is illegal to kiss on a train.
It is illegal to cut a woman's hair.
Car dealerships cannot sell cars on Sunday.
Kenosha
No male is allowed to be in a state of arousal in public.
La Crosse
It is illegal to tie up your horse along Third Street (Now a major bar
strip).
It is illegal to display an unclothed mannequin in a store window.
It is illegal to play checkers in public.
You cannot "worry a squirrel."
Milwaukee
An old ordinance forbids parking for over two hours unless a horse is
tied to the car.
It is against the law to play a flute and drums on the streets to attract
attention.
If one is thought of as offensive looking, it is illegal for him to be in public
during the day.
It is illegal to purchase or use Sparklers in the city, yet you can buy fully
disassembled automatic machine guns.
Racine
It is illegal to wake a fireman when he is asleep.
Women may not walk down a public street at night without being
accompanied by a man.
St. Croix
Women are not allowed to wear anything red in public.
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