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Jokes for the week of 6/12/2002
Dumb State Laws New Mexico to North Carolina
Dumb New Mexico Laws
State officials ordered 400 words of "sexually explicit material" to be cut
from Romeo and Juliet.
Carrizozo
It's forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in public.
Las Cruces
You may not carry a lunchbox down Main Street.
Dumb New York Laws
A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits
men from turning around on any city street and looking "at a woman in that
way." A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the
violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" wherever and
whenever he goes outside for a stroll.
It is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head for fun.
A license must be purchased before hanging clothes on a clothesline.
The penalty for jumping off a building is death.
A person may not walk around on Sundays with an ice cream cone in
his/her pocket.
While riding in an elevator, one must talk to no one, and fold his hands
while looking toward the door.
Slippers are not to be worn after 10:00 P.M.
Carmel
A man can't go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not
match.
Greene
During a concert, it is illegal to eat peanuts and walk backwards on the
sidewalks.
New York
Citizens may not greet each other by "putting one's thumb to the nose and
wiggling the fingers".
It is illegal for a woman to be on the street wearing "body hugging
clothing."
You may not smoke within 100 feet of the entrance to a public building.
Women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a
business.
Ocean City
It is illegal to eat in the street in residential neighborhoods, and the only
beverage you can drink on the beach is water in a clear plastic bottle.
It is illegal for men to go topless in the center of town.
Staten Island
You may only water your lawn if the hose is held in your hand.
It is illegal for a father to call his son a "faggot" or "queer" in an effort to
curb "girlie behavior."
Dumb North Carolina Laws
It's against the law to sing off key.
Elephants may not be used to plow cotton fields.
If a man and a woman who aren't married go to a hotel/motel and
register themselves as married then, according to state law, they are legally
married.
All couples staying overnight in a hotel must have a room with double
beds that are at least two feet apart. Making love in the space between the
beds is strictly forbidden.
A marriage can be declared void if either of the two persons is physically
impotent.
Barber
Fights between cats and dogs are prohibited.
Chapel Hill
It is a misdemeanor to urinate or defecate publicly.
Charlotte
Women must have their bodies covered by at least 16 yards of cloth at
all times.
Elon College
There is to be no rollerblading during daylight hours, on the roads, or on
the bricks. All the sidewalks at this college are made of brick. (Repealed in
1998)
Forest City
You must stop and call City Hall before entering town in an automobile.
This is so the townspeople will have time to go out and hold their horses
until you get through town.
Greensboro
Restaurants "with on sidewalk dining" must post their menu so that it is
clearly readable from the sidewalk, but is not readable from the street.
Hornytown
Massage parlors have been banned.
Kill Devil Hills
You may not ride a bicycle without having both your hands on the handle
bars.
Rocky Mount
It is required that you must pay a property tax on your dog.
Southern Shores
It is against the law to rollerblade on a state highway.
Dumb North Dakota Laws
Beer and pretzels can't be served at the same time in any bar or
restaurant.
It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.
It is legal to shoot an Indian on horseback, provided you are in a covered
wagon
Fargo
One may be jailed for wearing a hat while dancing, or even for wearing a
hat to a function where dancing is taking place.
Dumb Ohio Laws
In Ohio, if you ignore an orator on Decoration day to such an extent as
to publicly play croquet or pitch horseshoes within one mile of the
speaker's stand, you can be fined $25.00.
Women are prohibited from wearing patent leather shoes in public.
It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday.
It is illegal to get a fish drunk.
The Ohio driver's education manual states that you must honk the horn
whenever you pass another car.
Participating or conducting a duel is prohibited.
Breast feeding is not allowed in public.
It is illegal for more than five women to live in a house.
It is illegal to mistreat anything of great importance.
Owners of tigers must notify authorities within one hour if the tiger
escapes.
No one may be arrested on Sunday or on the Fourth of July.
Bay Village
It is illegal to walk a cow down Lake Road.
Bexley
Ordinance number 223, of 09/09/19 prohibits the installation and usage
of slot machines in outhouses.
Clinton County
Any person who leans against a public building will be subject to fines.
Cleveland
It's illegal to catch mice without a hunting license!
Women are forbidden from wearing patent leather shoes, lest men see
reflections of their underwear.
Columbus
It is illegal for stores to sell corn flakes on Sunday.
Fairview Park
It's against the law to honk your horn "excessively". A grandmother was
fined for honking her horn twice at her neighbor.
Items left on a tree lawn become city property. A young man was fined
for removing an item from a tree lawn even though he had the owner's
permission.
Ironton
Cross-dressing is against the law.
Lima
Any map that does not have Lima clearly stated on the map cannot be
sold.
Lowell
It is unlawful to run a horse over five miles per hour.
Marion
You cannot eat a doughnut and walk backwards on a city street.
North Canton
It is against the law to roller skate without notifying the police.
McDonald
Your goose may not paraded down Main Street.
Oxford
It's illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a
man's picture.
Paulding
A policeman may bite a dog to quiet him.
Toledo
Throwing a snake at anyone is illegal.
Strongsville
Catch 22 is banned.
Youngstown
Riding on the roof of a taxi cab is not allowed.
You may not run out of gas.
Dumb Oklahoma Laws
Violators can be fined, arrested or jailed for making ugly faces at a dog.
Females are forbidden from doing their own hair without being licensed
by the state.
Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in
groups of three or more on private property.
Oklahoma will not tolerate anyone taking a bite out of another's
hamburger.
It is against the law to read a comic book while operating a motor
vehicle.
Whaling is illegal.
It is illegal to have the hind legs of farm animals in your boots.
Residents are taxed for the furniture in their homes, and any other
personal belongings. (Repealed 1998)
People who make "ugly faces" at dogs may be fined and/or jailed.
Cars must be tethered outside of public buildings. (Repealed)
Anyone arrested for soliciting a hooker must have their name and picture
shown on television.
Tattoos are banned.
No one may spit on a sidewalk.
It is illegal to wear your boots to bed.
Fish may not be contained in fishbowls while on a public bus.
Tissues are not to be found in the back of one's car.
Ada
If you wear New York Jets clothing, you may be put in jail.
Clinton
Molesting an automobile is illegal.
Hawthahorne
It is unlawful to put any hypnotized person in a display window.
Oklahoma City
No one may walk backwards downtown while eating a hamburger.
Schulter
Women may not gamble in the nude, in lingerie, or while wearing a towel.
Tulsa
You may not open a soda bottle without the supervision of a licensed
engineer.
Elephants are not to be taken into the downtown area.
Wynona
One's mode of transportation must be tied up while not attended.
Mules may not drink out of bird baths.
Clothes may not be washed in bird baths.
Yukon
It is illegal to tie a horse in front of city hall.
While passing another vehicle, you must honk your horn.
Dumb Oregon Laws
Dishes must drip dry.
The "Peer Review Statute" prohibits you from finding out details of any
written or oral discussion about your medical treatment. Not even a court
of law can. All you can access is what the doctor or nurse voluntarily
records in your chart.
It is illegal to buy or sell marijuana, but it is legal to smoke it on your own
property.
Ice cream may not be eaten on Sundays.
You may not pump your own gas in service stations.
One may not bathe without wearing "suitable clothing," i.e.,that which
covers one's body from neck to knee.
Canned corn is not to be used as bait for fishing.
Beaverton
You must buy a $10 permit to be allowed to install a burglar alarm.
Eugene
It is illegal to show movies or attend a car race on Sundays. (Repealed in
the 1970s)
It is legal to conduct a horse race or a symphony concert.
Hood River
Juggling is strictly prohibited without a license.
Klamath Falls
It's illegal to walk down a sidewalk and knock a snakes head off with
your cane.
Portland
It's against the law for a wedding ceremony to be performed at a skating
rink. (Repealed in 1989)
People may not whistle underwater.
You cannot wear roller skates in restrooms.
Marion
Ministers are forbidden from eating garlic or onions before delivering a
sermon.
Myrtle Creek
One may not box with a kangaroo.
Salem
Women may not wrestle in Salem.
Springfield
It is illegal to own a reptile within the city limits, unless you are a school
or city, as a pet.
Stanfield
Cloth towel dispensers are banned from restrooms.
No more than two people may share a single drink.
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