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Jokes for the week of 6/5/2002
Dumb State Laws Michigan to New Jersey
Dumb Michigan Laws
A woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's
permission.
There is a 10 cent bounty for each rat's head brought into a town office.
It is legal for a robber to file a law suit, if he or she got hurt in your house.
You may not swear in front of women and children in the state of
Michigan.
Any person over the age of 12 may have a license for a handgun as long
as he/she has not been convicted of a felony.
CLawson
There is a law that makes it legal for a farmer to sleep with his pigs,
cows, horses, goats, and chickens.
Detroit
Couples are banned from making love in an automobile unless the act
takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple's own property.
Willfully destroying your old radio is prohibited.
It is illegal for a man to scowl at his wife on Sunday.
Alligators may not be tied to fire hydrants.
It is illegal to let your pig run free in Detroit unless it has a ring in its nose.
According to history and animal husbandry, it prevents them from "rooting"
in the ground for their food.
Grand Haven
No person shall throw an abandoned hoop skirt into any street or on any
sidewalk, under penalty of a five- dollar fine for each offense.
Harper Woods
It is illegal to paint sparrows to sell them as parakeets.
Kalamazoo
It is against the law to serenade your girlfriend.
Rochester
All bathing suits must have been inspected by the head of police.
Soo
Smoking while in bed is illegal.
Wayland
Anyone can keep their cow on Main Street downtown at a cost of 3
cents per day.
Minnesota Jokes
Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes ... And 10,000,000,000,000
Mosquitoes
Dumb Minnesota Laws
A person may not cross state lines with a duck atop his head.
It is illegal to sleep naked.
All men driving motorcycles must wear shirts.
Citizens may not enter Wisconsin with a chicken on their head.
All bathtubs must have feet.
Hibbing
It shall be the duty of any policeman or any other officer to enforce the
provisions of this Section, and if any cat is found running at large, or which
is found in any street, alley or public place, it shall be the duty of any
policeman or other officer of the city to kill such cat.
Minneapolis
Red cars can not drive down Lake Street
St. Cloud
Hamburgers may not be eaten on Sundays.
Virginia
You're not allowed to park your elephant on Main Street.
Dumb Minnesota Laws
A person may not cross state lines with a duck atop his head.
It is illegal to sleep naked.
All men driving motorcycles must wear shirts.
Citizens may not enter Wisconsin with a chicken on their head.
All bathtubs must have feet.
Hibbing
It shall be the duty of any policeman or any other officer to enforce the
provisions of this Section, and if any cat is found running at large, or which
is found in any street, alley or public place, it shall be the duty of any
policeman or other officer of the city to kill such cat.
Minneapolis
Red cars can not drive down Lake Street
St. Cloud
Hamburgers may not be eaten on Sundays.
Virginia
You're not allowed to park your elephant on Main Street.
Dumb Mississippi Laws
Cattle rustling is punishable by hanging.
Horses are not to be housed within 50 feet of any road.
Vagrancy is punishable by either 30 days in prison or a $201 fine. -Sec.
97-35-37
Columbus
The fine for waving a gun in public is higher than actually shooting it.
Oxford
It is illegal to drive around the town square more than 100 times in a
single session.
One may not spit on the sidewalks on the square.
Motor vehicles on the square are prohibited.
Horn honking is not permitted as it might scare horses. Tylertown
It is unlawful to shave in the center of main street.
Dumb Missouri Laws
It is not illegal to speed. (Repealed)
Buckner
In this small town of only 4,000, yard waste may be burned any day
except Sunday.
Excelsior Springs
Hard objects may not be thrown by hand.
Worrying squirrels is not tolerated.
Kansas City
Minors are not allowed to purchase cap pistols, however they may buy
shotguns freely.
Installation of bathtubs with four legs resembling animal paws is
prohibited.
Marceline
Minors can buy rolling paper and tobacco but not lighters.
Marquette
It is illegal for more than four unrelated persons to occupy the same
dwelling (The Brothel Law).
Mole
Frightening a baby is in violation of the law.
Natchez
It shall be unlawful to provide beer or other intoxicants to elephants.
Purdy
Dancing is strictly prohibited.
St. Louis
It's illegal to sit on the curb of any city street and drink beer from a
bucket. This law refers back to the extinct Italian celebration, Hill Day,
when beer was served in buckets.
A milk man may not run while on duty.
University City
Four women may not rent an apartment together.
Dumb Montana Laws
Seven or more indians are considered a raiding or war party and it is
legal to shoot them. (Repealed)
In Montana, it is illegal for married women to go fishing alone on
Sundays, and illegal for unmarried women to fish alone at all.
It is a misdemeanor to show movies that depict acts of felonious crime.
It is a felony for a wife to open her husband's mail.
It is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone.
Excelsior Springs
Balls may not be thrown within the city limits.
Helena
No item may be thrown across a street.
Salisbury
Pop bottles are not to be thrown on the ground.
Whitehall
It is illegal to operate a vehicle with ice picks attached to the wheels.
Dumb Nebraska Laws
If a child burps during church, his parent may be arrested.
It is Illegal to go whale fishing.
It is illegal for bar owners to sell beer unless they are simultaneously
brewing a kettle of soup.
It is illegal for a mother to give her daughter a perm without a state license.
Lehigh
Doughnut holes may not be sold
Omaha
Sneezing or burping is illegal during a church service.
A man is not allowed to run around with a shaved chest.
Waterloo
Barbers are forbidden from eating onions between 7 A.M. and 7 P.M.
Dumb Nevada Laws
It's still "legal" to hang someone for shooting your dog on your property.
It is illegal to drive a camel on the highway.
Clark County
An ordinance makes bringing a concealable fire arm into the county illegal
unless it is registered with the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department.
In order to register a handgun, however, it must be brought in to the police
station. Furthermore, you may not register a gun on the weekends, but the
police may prosecute you at that time.
Elko
Everyone walking the streets is required to wear a mask.
Eureka
Men who wear moustaches are forbidden from kissing women.
Nyala
A man is forbidden from buying drinks for more than three people other
than himself at any one period during the day
Dumb New Hampshire Laws
You may not tap your feet, nod your head, or in any way keep time to
the music in a tavern, restaurant, or cafe.
You cannot sell the clothes you are wearing to pay off a gambling debt.
It is considered an offense to check into a hotel under an assumed name.
It is illegal to pick seaweed up off of the beach.
Any cattle that crosses state roads must be fitted with a device to gather
its feces.
You may not run machinery on Sundays.
On Sundays citizens may not relieve themselves while looking up.
White Mountain Nat. Forest
If a person is caught raking the beaches, picking up litter, hauling away
trash, building a bench for the park, or many other kind things without a
permit, he/she may be fined $150 for ''maintaining the national forest
without a permit''.
Dumb New Jersey Laws
You cannot pump your own gas. All gas stations are full service and full
service only. [Reader Comments on this Law.]
On a highway you can not park under a bridge.
It is against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season.
It is against the law to "frown" at a police officer.
If you have been convicted of driving while intoxicated, you may never
again apply for personalized license plates.
Car dealerships are forbidden from opening on Sunday.
You may not slurp your soup.
Automobiles are not to pass horse drawn carriages on the street.
It is illegal to delay or detain a homing pigeon.
Bernards Township
It is illegal to frown as the town is a "Frown-Free Town Zone".
Caldwell
You may not dance or wear shorts on the main avenue.
Cranford
Citizens are not permitted to park their own boat on their lawn.
Cresskill
All cats must wear three bells to warn birds of their whereabouts.
Elizabeth
It is forbidden for a woman, on a Sunday, to walk down Broad Street
without wearing a petticoat.
Manville
It is illegal to offer whiskey or cigarettes to animals a the local zoo.
Newark
It is illegal to sell ice cream after 6pm, unless the customer has a note
from his doctor.
Ocean City
People may not slurp their soup.
Pinball machines are not to be played on Sunday.
Raw hamburger may not be sold.
Raritan
Profanity is prohibited.
Sea Isle City
There will be no boiling of bones on the property.
Trenton
You may not throw a bad pickle in the street.
Pickles are not to be consumed on Sundays
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