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Jokes for the week of 5/15/2002
Dumb State Laws Alabama to California
Alabama Dumb Laws
It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
Dominoes may not be played on Sunday.
It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.
Putting salt on a railraod track may be punishable by death.
Boogers may not be flicked into the wind.
Bear wrestling matches are prohibited.
It is legal to drive the wrong way down a one-way street if you have a
lantern attached to the front of your automobile.
You must have windshield wipers on your car.
You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time.
Masks may not be worn in public.
Men may not spit in front of the opposite sex.
You may not drive barefooted.
It is illegal to maim oneself to escape duty.
It is illegal to impersonate a person of the clergy.
Women are able to retain all property they owned prior to marriage in
the case of divorce. However, this provision does not apply to men.
Incestous marriages are legal.
Anniston
You may not wear blue jeans down Noble Street.
Jasper
It is illegal for a husband to beat his wife with a stick larger in diameter
than his thumb.
Lee County
It is illegal to sell peanuts in Lee County after sundown on Wednesday.
Mobile
It is unlawful to howl at ladies inside the city limits.
It is unlawful to wear women's pumps with sharp, high heels.
Montgomery
It is considered an offense to open an umbrella on a street, for fear of it
spooking horses. (Repealed)
Dumb Arizona Laws
Hunting camels is prohibited.
Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask is considered a
felony. This goes back in the days of the Wild West.
There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting down a cactus.
Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs.
When being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you may only protect
yourself with the same weapon that the other person posseses.
It is unlawful to refuse a person a glass of water.
You may not have more than two dildos in a house.
Glendale
Cars may not be driven in reverse.
Globe
Cards may not be played in the street with a Native American.
Hayden
If you bother the cottontails or bullfrogs, you will be fined.
Maricopa County
No more than six girls may live in any house.
Mesa
It is illegal to smoke cigarettes within 15 feet of a public place unless you
have a Class 12 liqueur license.
Mohave County
A decree declares that anyone caught stealing soap must wash himself
with it until it is all used up.
Nogales
An ordinance prohibits the wearing of suspenders.
Prescott
No one is permitted to ride their horse up the stairs of the county court
house.
Tucson
Women may not wear pants.
Tombstone
It is illegal for men and women over the age of 18 to have less than one
missing tooth visible when smiling.
Dumb Arkansas Laws
The Arkansas River can rise no higher than to the Main Street bridge in
Little Rock.
Arkansas must be pronounced "Arkansaw"
A law provides that school teachers who bob their hair will not get a
raise.
A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month.
Alligators may not be kept in bathtubs.
A voter is only allowed five minutes to mark his ballot.
Fayetteville
It is illegal to kill "any living creature".
Little Rock
Dogs may not bark after 6 PM.
Flirtation between men and women on the streets of Little Rock may
result in a 30-day jail term.
It is unlawful to walk one's cow down Main Street after 1:00 PM on
Sunday.
No person shall sound the horn on a vechicle at any place where cold
drinks or sandwiches are served after 9:00 P.M. -Little Rock City Code
Sec. 18-54
Dumb California Laws
Sunshine is guaranteed to the masses.
Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern,
school, or place of worship.
Bathhouses are against the law.
It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle,
unless the target is a whale.
Women may not drive in a house coat.
No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour.
Many animals are illegal to own as pets, including snails, sloths, and
elephants.
In an animal shelter, lizards and snakes are treated under the same
guidelines as cats and dogs.
Arcadia
Peacocks have the right of way to cross any street, including driveways.
Alhambra
You cannot leave your car on the street overnight without the proper
permit.
Baldwin Park
Nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool.
Belvedere
City Council order reads: "No dog shall be in a public place without its
master on a leash."
Blythe
You are not permitted to wear cowboy boots unless you already own at
least two cows.
Burlingame
It is illegal to spit, except on baseball diamonds.
Carmel
Ice cream may not be eaten while standing on the sidewalk. (Repealed
when Clint Eastwood was mayor)
Women may not wear high heels while in the city limits.
Chico
Detonating a nuclear device within the city limits results in a $500 fine.
Downey
It is illegal to wash your car in the street. (Passed 1995).
Hollywood
It is illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood
Boulevard at one time.
Lafayette
You are forbidden to spit on the ground within 5 feet of another person.
Lodi
It is illegal to own or sell "Silly String".
Lompoc
It is illegal to posses, own or raise roosters. This is considered disturbing
the peace.
Long Beach
Cars are the only item allowed in a garage.
It is illegal to curse on a mini-golf course.
Los Angeles
It is illegal for a man to beat his wife with a strap wider than 2 inches
without her consent.
You cannot bathe two babies in the same tub at the same time.
You may not hunt moths under a street light.
It is illegal to cry on the witness stand.
Toads may not be licked.
It is a crime for dogs to mate within 500 yards of a church. Breaking this
law is punishable by a fine of $500 and/or six months in prison.
Zoot suits are prohibited.
Ontario
Roosters may not crow in the city limits.
Pacific Grove
Molesting butterflies can result in a $500 fine.
Palm Springs
It is illegal to walk a camel down Palm Canyon Drive between the hours
of four and six PM.
Pasadena
It is illegal for a secretary to be alone in a room with her boss.
Prunedale
Two bathtubs may not be installed in the same house.
Redlands
Motor vehicles may not drive on city streets unless a man with a lantern is
wallking ahead of it.
Riverside
One may not carry a lunch down the street between 11 and 1 o'clock.
San Diego
It is illegal to shoot jackrabbits from the back of a streetcar.
The owners of houses with Christmas lights on them past February
second may be fined up to $250.
San Francisco
Prohibits elephants from strolling down Market Street unless they are on
a leash.
It is illegal to wipe one's car with used underwear.
Persons classified as "ugly" may not walk down any street.
It is illegal to pile horse manure more than six feet high on a street corner.
San Jose
It is illegal to have more than two cats or dogs. -Ord. 7.08.595
Santa Monica
You may not play percussion instruments on the beach.
Temecula
Ducks have the right of way to cross Rancho California St. at all times.
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