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Jokes for the week of 4/14/2002
The Car Jokes Keep Coming . . . Ford
Hey Rich
This is one ford joke i thought up reading your ford jokes
what does FORD F-150 F-250 F-350 stand for.
FORD [f]ouled 150 more
FORD [f]ouled 250 more
FORD {f}ouled 350 more
these are names ford should pick from next. the FORD ?
FORD IDLE T
FORD wine
FORD SLOLANE
FORDs new slogan for years ahead
"FORD I coud have had a V8"
Dumb jokes but im not a grat comedian/
johnny A G G (jdguillen@cnetco.com)
Henry Ford dies and goes to heaven.
At the gate, the angel tells Ford, "Well, you've been such a good guy and your invention, the car, changed the world. As a reward, you can hang out with anyone you want in heaven."
So, Henry Ford thinks about it and says, "I wanna hang with Adam, the first man." So, the angel points Adam out to Ford.
When Ford gets to Adam, Ford asks, "Hey, aren't you the inventor of the woman?"
Adam says, "Yes."
"Well, says Ford, "You have some major design flaws in your invention:
1. There's too much front end protrusion.
2. It chatters at high speeds.
3. The rear end wobbles too much.
4. And the intake is placed too close to the exhaust."
"Hmmm...", says Adam, "Hold on." So Adam goes to the celestial supercomputer, types in a few keystrokes, and waits for the results. The computer prints out a slip of paper and Adam reads it.
He then says to Henry Ford, "It may be that my invention is flawed, but according to the stellar computer, more men are riding my invention than yours."
Before he was president
Date: 2000/08/11
TEXAS, USA - Texas Governor George Bush today granted death row inmates a new alternative to death lethal injection. Effective immediately, the convicted inmates may now take their chances escaping on the Texas interstate in a Firestone Wilderness tire equipped Ford Explorer. The junior Bush conceded that some inmates may actually evade a death sentence under the new option, but this largely depends upon the weather and flow of traffic.
"Granted, it's cruel and unusual punishment?" Bush noted "But then again, so is living in Texas!"
A (singular) FORD
Bits of timber,
Bits of board,
Put together...
Make a FORD
from MS - dos (ser) extradinaire
im, thanks for the laugh.
The Traffic Ticket
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's
card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman
who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.
Captain: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card.
The driver owned the car.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.
Trunk is opened; no body.
Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying sumbitch told you I was speeding, too
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